Struggle
The solipsistic self swims up the cosmic crest, back down, then up again; a clown caught in a jest.
Calculation
I am fighting but I have a weakness in my blood. Still, I can foresee the many tragedies to come, and I will not give my soul so easily to someone pretending. I have to be wiser. I can not allow you to achieve, and I must be careful now. I must perceive all of the subtleties you cautiously release. I can prevent the tragedies to come, but still I have a weakness.
Rijed
Beside you an idol of worthy attention. Above and below you a channel to pacify any demand. But you still come crashing my way, infecting my constitute with all you’ve done wrong. But I will wait for a release, until I can trust my beliefs. Our dreams can show the future and our perceptions have powers of such command, that I have peered into the other realms and I have been witness to potential unknown. Heard hidden messages and seen alterations of flesh. Sensed energies exchanged with posture and breath. Pushed myself further along a more delicate path. Felt both extremes of my own threshold of tolerance, picking apart the ways I get caught up and stumble, I now stand confused by my own threats and requests.
Don’t think I could tear this thing down, I wouldn’t know what to do with the pieces. So I just look away and let my memory fade.
Rigid
Don’t let me stumble from this path. Tell me this moment will not last, and I will cover you, and I will put you away from my reach.
Disengage this emotion before it causes you harm. Overwhelmed with sensation, you lie to yourself to forget who you are. Don’t let me stumble from this path, don’t let me falter, don’t forget what we are. I will cover you, and I will put you away from my reach.
Wish I could maintain control of you my little fireball. Gone and used you, I should have learnt by now the consequence of abuse. But your voice hits my ear with such maddening distinction. Threatens all I am, so I’ll put you in a place that I can’t reach.
Lock you up, destroy the key, erase my memory, die in heaven. There’s always more questions.
I Am and God
I walk alone, with nobody else, and I stand alone. Nothing will complete me, I’m already whole, and I stand alone. It’s not out of fear, it’s not insecurity, it’s nobodies plan. Yes I’ve found the meaning of life, but you refuse my attempt to explain. So now I walk alone, and nothing tastes as sweet as divinity.
Unheard Of
What can be gained? What can be saved? Digging deep you find your own space. So you relax for now. You’ll never return to the things that hold you down. You never asked for this life, and no one knows you cause you’re never your self. Deep down your cynical and swollen, and you’re mad as hell. Like a caged beast you can’t get anywhere. So you bruise yourself. Raising demons to keep you company, as you push away your friends and the face you wear for family is growing thin. It’s getting harder to hide who you are. Evil tendencies, dangerous desires, quiet delinquence, and a heart of pure fire. You want to overthrow the kingdom. Sit on the throne of the almighty yourself. You’ll succeed where the devil failed, and it will be the greatest story of your life. You’ll wipe the face of this earth clean. You’ll erase history. (Get me out of this.) No more religion, philosophy or science, no more governments or culture, no more power or control, no more hunger, no more war, no more wanting or inventing; only one thing.
Soul Farming
I’m planting the seeds of my destruction, so when it comes you best not be surprised. I refuse to die by any other means than mine, so I am planting the seeds for my destruction. Right before your eyes I’ll fight for my survival. I am of the mind to change the world and given time I will expire right before your rise.
Here for all to feel, my powers will enlighten. I am of the mind to change the world and given time, I will inspire, here for all to feel.
Lived through travels, rode on spirals, took deep breaths again and again found such beauty in the world, found such sadness, chose to fight, chose to dedicate my life.
Ugly Umpire Umbra
Fuck you and all your worthless addictions. Fiending away all your dreams, you scared little shit. Lost and confuse, lazy and worthless, not worth spit.
I’ve been full of shit for most of my life. I’ve broken friendships and promises. Take no prisoners, I will pull the world down with me.
I wait for you to change, but you don’t. Right in front of me every time in the mirror I always see the same worthless person. Why can’t you be all you want to be? Why can’t you believe in your dreams? Why do you get so scared? What are you waiting for? Stop wasting your time. There’s not that much of it left. You’ve got everything in front of you. What are you waiting for?
Time Mine
How I wish I could go back in time. How I wish I could start over my life. How I wish I could go to the past, find myself and kick my own ass. My dreams are broken. My heart is so bruised. My head is heavy. My balls are so blue. Got no money, no lover, no friends, but I still got my music and I’ll play it till the world ends.
All around, the glamour of the stars. Up and down, the burning of the fame glows heavy on my soul. The corrupting of ambition, my memory, my enemy.
One of these days I’ll make time my plaything. One of these days I’ll rewind the sky. One of these years I’ll live my life well. One of these years I’ll be youthful again. One of these lifetimes I’ll understand truth. One of these ages I’ll do what I’m supposed to do.
I apologize, to everyone I’ve hurt. I’m sorry for all I’ve done wrong. I apologize to myself for my choices. I promise I will fix this somehow.
I’m sorry, there is no time but now.
Mind Blank
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